Thursday, January 15, 2009

English - Briton vs. Singaporean

Someone emailed me this comparison...
Who says our English is teruk? Just see below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to- point, effective etc........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Singaporean : No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Singaporean : Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Britons: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Singaporean : S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Singaporean : No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Singaporean : (pointing the door) can AR?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Singaporean : Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Singaporean : Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Singaporean : Don't want la...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Singaporean : You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please ! Lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Singaporean : Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
Singaporean : See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.
Singaporean : Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Singaporean : Wat happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Singaporean : like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me
Singaporean : Celaka u
Has a ring of truth which is why i'm posting it.

6 comments:

HILLBLOGGER said...

Hahahah! Absolutely spot on Cvj!

Might I add the following:

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons to a Singaporean (or to a Malaysian): Do sod off, will you?

Singaporean (as well as Malaysian): MAT SALEH! MAT SALEH! MAT SALEH!!!!

Jego said...

That reminds me of the 'How can she slap?' video on youtube a few weeks back. :-D A Brit would probably go, 'By what bloody right did she have to lay her hands on me?'

Tongue's Wrath said...

Hilarious, chuck! Reminds me of Sings from Schneider Electric whom I brought to a meeting with a client: "Can we pak (park!) under tree? Better, no?"

Anonymous said...

haha, this is so true. this reminds me how my singapore colleagues talk, lah. (accent and all, harhar.)

-inodoro ni emilie

Anonymous said...

Expressions (not curt replies) shows richness of language. There's a nuance in being able to use conjunctions rather than staccato grunts.

cvj said...

Anonymous, de gustibus.